want

i don’t want you to tell me

why i should live.

i don’t want your reasons

i don’t want you.

i don’t want your love

i don’t want your kindness.

i don’t want to know what i mean to you

i don’t want you to tell me i’m beautiful

i don’t want you to promise.

i don’t want you to lie.

i don’t want you to go out of the way to make sure i’m okay

i am okay.

i say.

i am okay.

okay.

i dont want to pretend

like i mean something to you.

i don’t want you to pretend like we belong.

i just want you to break me.

i just want you to leave me.

i just want you to give up

before you start meaning something to me.

i am drowning in my oceans,

you are my lifeboat.

but never survived a man who’s lifeboat left him.

never dreamed a man of a lifeboat in the first place.

you say you want me.

you want to know me.

to hold me.

to love me.

i don’t want a reason to love.

i don’t want somebody to hold.

i don’t want somebody to know.

i don’t want a fucking lifeboat.

i don’t want to survive.

don’t give me a reason to live

when all i want to die.

don’t be that reason

because what happens when you go away?

Poet XV